A girl who lived full of dreams, full of happiness through good times and suddenly feels sadness deep within, hideous scars where no one else knows. A girl who never gave up in every challenge. A girl who knows when to stop in every word that will hurt someone’s feeling,I only do this with my solid friends who were close in my heart. A girl who frankly says anything negative, words hurt though but I usually do this with my close friends who agrees with my thing, confronting them even though it hurts deep inside, it’s really okay with them. No issue and no big deal. That’s it, simple. A girl who feels uncomfortable when someone said behind my back. I can’t help it. I’m really disappointed. After all the dull moments, non stop telling of secrets, listening through my weaknesses and immediately calls you in the middle of the night because I don’t know what to do to make everything feel better. What happened after? Where is the word friends?
I considered myself, a shy type kind of person who definitely doesn’t know how to determine the real ones. There are fake people everywhere, maybe I met them already, wherein I gave all my trust, a trust that can built our strong relationship of being friends. It seems different. It seems wrong. Realize something, that I should let go of my shy type personality because some people will have the strength to approach me, to show kindness,concern and thoughtful it would be, interested to know every thing about me,worst thing ever,want to be friends with you and loves borrowing your branded stuffs,anything that I use, which makes me think “Why? Are we close friends? Or are you just using me? How nice it is! So pathetic.” That’s what I define some people nowadays. Very predictable to say even though you call me a judgmental person now, that’s what I’ve noticed anyway. That’s were the first thing that I feel unlucky, I always thought of this, “Hooray! We’re friends now! I have many friends, it feels so happy to be with them.” Okay, its opposite. Expect the unexpected.
Some people who I met, acts strange. I don’t know why, don’t know their reason why they don’t treat me as one of their friends, the way that I welcome and show to them how lucky they are right now to be part in my life. I’m happy but it’s different when I’m with my close friends who never leave me behind. “Is there something wrong with me? Please, tell me the truth. You can say it out loud, I really don’t care.” No response after all. How can I know what’s wrong, with my attitude that I’ve been acting different for you if you won’t tell me. If I heard all of it, I will be aware. Those were the random thoughts keep running in my mind that feels uncomfortable ever! I hate people acting like that, not open-minded. I’m ready to listen in each word you say about me, it hurts but it will help me change somehow.
Worst thing ever is when I found out that you’re backstabbing me already and I heard it from somebody.”You think, you’re too cool and famous with that? How talented? How do you that? Teach me how. I didn’t know you’re an expert with that. Gossiping all day, when I’m enjoying the whole day with you? Very, very brilliant!Why do you have to do this? We were friends, I trusted you. Right now, what we have been through the good and bad side are erased in my memory. Friends mean nothing to you,obviously. You really changed. A lot! Who are you? ” At this point, I didn’t realize that I’m surrounded by fake ones which I considered one of my true friends. Wow!
I know where I belong now. I know where to go when I’m in trouble and crying looking like an insane kid who wants a toy. This time, real ones makes me feel complete anyway. Simple hangout all day which makes me feel hyper. Non stop conversations which makes me feel relieved because every problem that each of us in a group has, we talked about and fix it right away. In the end, no issue,no fights and backstabbing.
Say something what you really wanted to speak out based on what you’re feeling right now even if it’s positive or negative, doesn’t matter. Say something,listening in each other’s opinion, it is one of the solutions anyway. It will solve your problems right ahead if you will speak now. Last thing, be aware of the people around you. You’ll never know what will happen, you might not like it. Be friendly but you should pick the right ones who will appreciates your effort, accepts you for who you are even though you did a lot of mistakes, understands your side, a group of friends like that will be the type of people where you really belong. Say something, nothing will happen.
Her daily Agenda 